is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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