people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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