I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
