I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
