When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
