I must be too annoying 4 u.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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