A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Mom said you looked used
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
