i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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