oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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