There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
