wakey wakey hands off snakey
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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