Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I look better un-naked...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
