I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
