In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
