The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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