Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
