If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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