I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
