Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
