I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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