your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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