there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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