Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
