She said her name was "party"
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
