I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
