Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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