New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
