woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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