upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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