This girl is more easily done than said...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
