I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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