The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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