He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
