i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
