windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So here I am, sexting at work.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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