When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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