I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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