I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He did a backflip because drugs
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
