thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
