Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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