Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
