At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
