Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
