he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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