I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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