Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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