last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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