So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You are the jesus of drinking
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
