holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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