Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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