My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
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