the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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