He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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