I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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