Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
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