HIV tests are more positive than that guy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
