I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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