u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
