the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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