Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
