Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
