Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize