so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
