She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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